04-23-13

Sometimes, I want to rush things for myself. I want my happy ending right now. But, now I can see that sometimes the best parts about happy endings are the moments, & experiences; the life that happens before it happens. We will all meet incredible people whom we believe we can make truly happy, but will never get a chance to prove it to. I know I have met many people in my life who have changed me in ways I thought impossible. People who made me question what I wanted for my future. People I didn't, can't ever be with. I constantly need to remind myself that I am in no rush to move to the end of the line of my life. I want life to happen to me this time. I don’t want to force it ever again. I want to influence it in positive ways, but not force it. I will never again put a man in a position to be forced to love me. The hardest part is recognizing that if this is true then the opposite is also true which means that I am this ‘incredible person’ that someone in my life will never get to ‘make happy’. It’s when I look at it this way that I am able to put things in perspective and recognize that I am NOT ready to be in another relationship with anyone other than myself for an undetermined time. If and when I meet that life-changing person I’ll know it. I believe this. 

Goodbye you. If you actually read this. You changed my life. I will forever be grateful. I wish the best for you. You deserve to be happy. You will be happy. I believe this.